...The Way That People Do.
So I haven't written for a while now...It's been a crazy busy couple of weeks. Tonight I actually have some free time to write, and a pretty damn good reason to do so.
As some of you have read, I have a friend, "Boo," who has been struggling with some medical issues. I haven't really kept anyone updated about it, but she has been diagnosed with a slow growing brain tumor. They don't know what it is exactly, but according to the doc, it's something that is manageable.
Tomorrow is a big day for her. She is having her biopsy done in the afternoon. So before I continue on, make sure you keep her in your thoughts/prayers, regardless of your religious beliefs or whatnot. Just do her and her family that favor.
Since she's been going through this, I feel completely helpless. I'm used to being able to help fix her problems, but this is one thing I have no control over. As her best friend/sister, I want to be able to take this off of her shoulders, but I have quickly learned that the most I can do is be there for her as much as possible. I know I am not PHYSICALLY going through what she is going through, but I feel like MENTALLY I am right there with her. I feel her fear, sadness, confusion, frustration, etc, every single day. I recently told her that although I've been very happy lately, I cannot be 100% happy knowing that this is happening. This whole situation is in the foreground of my thoughts constantly.
As I said, as her best friend, all I can do is be there to support her and do whatever it is that she needs me to do, whether it's take her out, play a stupid board game with her, text her, call her...whatevs. So tomorrow I have decided that I need to be there for her at the hospital before she goes into surgery. I have 2 basketball games to work tomorrow night, but I am going to stay at the hospital with her family as long as possible. I just want to hold her hand for a second, hug her, and tell her I love her before this procedure starts...as well as give her an awesome good luck charm which will make her day. If that's all I can do, then so be it. I mean, I would totally do the surgery myself but I don't want her ending up dead...so yeah, that's about all I can do.
Something I have been struggling to do is keep my composure and keep my fears to myself around her. I believe her and I had this conversation already. If I can't be strong for her, how can she be strong for herself? Yes, I'm worried, I'm scared, I cry about it, but that's not something she needs to listen to. Whenever I talk to her, I act as strong and fearless as possible. In the back of my mind, I have no doubt that everything will end up okay, so that really helps. We all tend to think the worst at times like this, and that's okay, but it's not how any of us should think. No one knows what's going to happen in the future anyways, so while we wait, we have to enjoy the here and now. "Live for Today," as mine and Boo's tattoos say. All I can do is be hopeful and have faith that everything really will turn out okay.
She's my best friend, and has been since we started hanging out. I could not live a day without her. She will be standing next to me at my wedding, she will be an aunt to my kids, and we'll grow old together and throw our dentures at each other when we're geriatric patients in a nursing home (hopefully at Millionaire Estates, where the Life chips are plentiful).
Boo, if you're reading this, remember that you won at the game of Life, so obviously that shows you that you'll get through this with ease. I love you, I need you in my life always, and I'm so thankful to have a friend like you. All of our mutual friends care about you so much and love you dearly (not as much as I, of course). And the people in the future that will meet you will be lucky that you have graced their presence.
We will get through this together...magic fingazzzz and all.
<3
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